Words can motivate and words can discourage. We will look at three innocent words, that when misused, can pack a powerfully negative punch.
Should. Men don’t like to be should-ed. You should do this. You should do that. You shouldn’t do this or that. To a man, this feels like being reprimanded by his mommy. Men are grown up boys and they don’t like being treated like boys.
Why. This word probably explains itself. It even sounds kind of whiny. Men don’t like to be questioned. This doesn’t mean that you should never question him. It just means that you must choose your words wisely. Use words that don’t communicate that you are questioning his wisdom or leadership. You might start by telling him that you are not trying to doubt him but that you just need to ask questions for your own understanding.
Could. The word could implies that the person is incapable of completing a task. Could you take out the trash? You might ask a young child in that way. How about using the word would instead? Would you take the trash out? This communicates that you are asking for help from a capable human being.
As someone once wrote “taste your words before you spit them out”.