We want them don’t we? We want checklists and flowcharts that show us exactly how to be biblically feminine. Unfortunately, this can lead to legalism. Masculinity and femininity are not about who completes certain tasks in the home. They are more about how we live out the gender characteristics that God has assigned to each us.
It is true that a man should provide for his family. If the woman becomes the primary or sole provider, a man can become emasculated. This doesn’t mean that it is wrong for the woman to earn or even earn more than her husband. I was paid higher than my husband for years but we never viewed this as our primary income. When children came along, my role shifted to raising children.
It is true that a woman is the nurturer of the family. This can include child-rearing, housekeeping, cooking and shopping. This doesn’t mean that a man should never jump in and assist in these areas.
In our home, I handle the finances because after trial and error we found that I am better suited for it. When we have guests, my husband does some sprucing up around the house to make it more inviting. I do most of the cooking but he will cook from time to time and he really enjoys cooking for company or making a big breakfast for our family.
Our masculinity or femininity is not defined by the tasks that we complete. They are defined by our demeanor, attitude and character. A man was designed to be protector, provider and conqueror. A woman was designed to be a helper and completer. When we live out these traits and don’t compete with one another, everyone wins.