Recently I was watching the movie Selena . I love that movie. This story has all of the best attributes. The “little guy” defeats the odds and rises to the top. Relationships are complicated and authentic. It teaches the viewer about another culture which I always find interesting and entertaining. The music is beautiful and it has romance, sweet romance.

One particular scene really caught my attention this time. Selena and Chris are fighting against the odds for their relationship. Her father is strongly against their relationship. Selena is the princess of their family and Chris is a rough rocker who comes from the wrong side of the tracks. During this scene, where they emotionally discuss whether or not they are strong enough to make it as a couple, Selena is sweet, undemanding, non-judgmental and supportive of Chris. Chris tells her that she makes him want to be a better man. Isn’t this the way that most relationships begin? The woman is so amenable – the man is so strong.

What happens? We marry each other and soon after the vows are exchanged, we begin competing with each other instead of complementing each other. As woman, we usually begin moving into leading our husbands, no longer letting them lead us. Men will either become angry, distant and controlling or become weak allowing the leadership role to be taken away. To sum it up, we no longer have to fight for what we already have. I propose that we continue fighting – not each other but fight with God’s power, our own human tendencies to do things the wrong way.

This movie scene really sums up romance, doesn’t it? Romance is being pleasing. Romance is serving. Romance is putting the other person first. Romance is so much more than a date night or flowers and chocolate. It is a day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute effort. Go and fight for romance.


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