The D Word

Are you considering divorce? Are you feeling that divorcing your spouse could provide the peace that you and your children need? Are you thinking that there is a different mate out there that can give you what you need?

I want to assure you, that if any of this sounds like you, I understand that your pain and distress is real and intense. You wouldn’t be at this point, if your marriage was easy and pleasant. You wouldn’t be there, if you weren’t concerned about your children’s well-being. I’m not writing this blog post to heap more guilt onto you. Marriage is hard but divorce is harder. It never provides an answer to the problems. It only creates more problems and leaves devastation in the lives of everyone involved.

If you are considering divorce for any reason other than physical abuse, I’m urging you – no, I’m begging you – please stay in your marriage and work on it. If you do the work, you may see your spouse begin to do their share of the work and soon you may not recognize your marriage. What do you have to lose except maybe losing your pride? Losing your pride would be a good thing because pride is probably the root cause of most marital discord.

Now, if you’re asking what kind of work that you need to do, you have many resources available to you. There are Biblical counselors, my previous blog posts and endless trees have been sacrificed for the books that are available on this subject. Get help and guidance and then put it into action. Be intentional and use every opportunity to try to do the right thing. Don’t get hung up on whether or not your spouse does the right thing – focus on what you can do. If you fail, get back up and try again.

Finally, many who are considering divorce don’t want to end up alone. They are thinking that there is another person out there, who is more compatible. Don’t you remember that your spouse was that person when you met them? They are still that same person. With a change in your attitude, you will find them again. If you divorce your spouse and find someone new, I guarantee that you will be dealing with this again because you never learned how to be married and do the daily work that is involved.

There is so much hope. It will be so sweet when you look back in a few years and see how your marriage has been transformed.

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