Defensive Disengagement

I can see that your spouse really gets your goat sometimes. I know, you’re thinking that Madeline is actually sitting behind her crystal ball. Oh come on, I’m a Christian – I don’t really have a crystal ball.

Culture tells us that we must stand up for ourselves – look out for number one. This is the opposite of what God tells us to do. We are to put others first. How do we put our spouse first? Sometimes we actually just disengage. Sometimes we must choose to overlook and even look the other way.

Now darrrling, I tell you a little story. Please enter my parlor and I will look into my crystal ball (read this hearing my deep gypsy voice with my multi-colored skirt and off the shoulder blouse). Now, let’s get back to the story. You are coming home from a long journey. Your husband who has never shown an interest in packing suddenly believes that he must teach you. He is tense and strung high (she doesn’t know her English very well). He is dreading the long journey that lies ahead. Wait. I see a struggle ahead. Darrrling, you must quickly remove him from the room where you will then be able to pack in peaceful solitude. That’ll be twenty bucks.

That was fun. I don’t really know what the going rate is for gypsy fortune telling these days. I digress. The point of this silliness is two-fold. Number one – sometimes you’ve really got to remove the fuel from the potential explosion. Number two – you always need to add a little humor – always. Most situations in marriage do not and I repeat do not require confrontation. Most situations require survival to live another marriage day.

We need to overlook more in most of our relationships. Very seldom will you regret overlooking. In fact, I cannot recall ever regretting when I chose to overlook.

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