Does your spouse explode into anger every once in a while? I know, it is unpleasant. Listen, it is possible that your spouse has a problem with anger or that they might be a spoiled brat (I will address this later) but more likely, you are training them to pitch a fit so that they can finally get you to take them seriously.
How exactly do you train your spouse to erupt like Mount Vesuvius? Well, I imagine that you have ignored the warning signs. If your spouse is good enough to calmly tell you when things bother them, you are greatly blessed. How do you return that blessing? Do you make jokes about how they feel? Do you make excuses or say “well, that is just how I am”? Do you refuse to make changes? Do you make temporary changes and then revert back? Do you just ignore them? Do you play the victim?
If this is a pattern in your marriage, please take a look at yourself. Your spouse does not enjoy getting angry and they are hurting deeply. Every time you ignore their requests or make light of them, you are devaluing your spouse. Every time you ignore their requests and their frustration builds into anger, they feel horrible afterwards and very likely hate themselves for blowing up.
Now, if your spouse has a problem with a hot unpredictable temper – get counseling. This probably won’t get better without some help. If your spouse behaves like a spoiled brat, it is possible that you are enabling them. Maybe it is easier to give in to the temper tantrum instead of confronting them. You probably know deep down inside if this is the case. You might want to start taking small steps toward letting the brat experience real life without successfully manipulating you.
Back to the spouse that calmly addresses issues as they occur, stop being a jerk by putting your spouse into the position of being a jerk. When your spouse tells you that something bothers them, respect them enough to listen and make the changes that are needed.