Did you grow up in a home where sexuality was never discussed or even worse, it was portrayed as being dirty? Unfortunately, you may have carried these attitudes into your marriage.
Sex in marriage is not evil. God created sex within the commitment of marriage to be wonderful. If you’re still not sure, try reading Song of Solomon or how about what Paul said “the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to pray and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control”. Did you catch that? Stop depriving one another!
In order for sex to be good, it needs to be between a man and woman in a committed marriage relationship and neither party should ever be forced to do anything that makes them uncomfortable. Also, please remember that sex is portrayed in movies and some books unrealistically. Having these expectations or trying to live up to this will probably disappoint both of you.
If you realize that you have brought some unhealthy attitudes into your marriage, I hope that this blog has helped you to renew your mind and open your eyes to the changes needed. Discuss this with your spouse and I am sure that they would be thrilled to help you.