Separate and Together

Do you feel threatened when your spouse desires time away from you? I would like to encourage you to realize two things. First, when your spouse wants to spend time away alone or with others, this is not necessarily communicating that they don’t cherish their time with you. Second, there may be an unhealthy reason that they look forward to time away from you.

Examine yourself – and be honest. Have you made yourself fun and interesting to be with? Are you trying to control your spouse? Are you disrespecting them as a human being? Do you have a critical spirit? If needed, change the way that you have been treating your spouse. Now, if your relationship with your spouse is healthy, a little time away, can make it even better. Spending time with appropriate friends or family doing appropriate activities can make you happier and more interesting. It demonstrates a serving attitude to your spouse when you allow your spouse to have this freedom and it is a must that you never ever make them feel guilty or hold it over the head.

Now, I would like to talk about spending time together. Does your spouse have an interest that you don’t really love? If they want you with them – go. It may seem like they are ignoring you but chances are, they really value you being there with them. Show support for their interest even if you really just don’t get it. Do they request your company during chores or errands? Be there because they just want your support and company. If you have children, make sure that you make time to be alone with your spouse. If you have small children, this can even be after you have put them to bed. Too many children run the home and are expending too much of their parent’s energy just getting them to bed. Remember, you are the parent. You set the bedtime and rules. A little training investment will pay off big-time. Your spouse needs to know that you are prioritizing them over the children.

I hope that this is helpful to someone out there. Your marriage partner is a blessing to you. Choose to cherish them and see the good things about them. Your time together is precious.


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