The following statement was written by a real woman. She wants to share it with you because she firmly believes that there are many women who can relate to her struggles and she wants them to know that they are not alone and that there is hope. She entitled it Look at Me.
I am your greatest earthly treasure, sitting on the shelf. You pour yourself into things that will be tossed tomorrow. Look at me! Strangers and acquaintances affirm me today and maybe tomorrow but you don’t see my gifts. Look at me! You see my adornments and your hands examine the jewels but you don’t look deep enough to see my heart and mind. Look at me! You praise my efforts but always with a suggestion. Look at me! I am only a whisper away, invisible with tears in my eyes. Look at me! What do I want? I do want you to love my adornments, I do want you to praise what I do and I do want you to know who I am, deep inside of my mind and my heart. Who am I? Don’t look at me but look deep within me.
This was written by a woman during her darkest moments. It is not an earth-shattering statement but to her it comes from deep pain. I agree with her that many women are struggling with similar thoughts and feelings. She is not a depressed woman – in fact, she is very happy and strives for contentment. She is an ordinary woman and just like most women, her tank occasional becomes empty. Men, this post is not intended to heap more upon you but God says that you must love your wives. So do you want to know how to love your wife? Simply study her. Don’t cram right before the test. Make her your lifelong learning project. There is nothing sexier than a man learning about what makes a woman tick. I know it’s hard and it requires effort but sorry men, don’t you think it takes effort for her to let you lead, put you before the children and make your sexual needs a priority? You see, these things are foreign to her, just like it is foreign to you to study your wife.
Women are relational, soft hearted and responsive. Women have a deep need to be understood. If you remove the outward beauty and all of the tasks that she completes, you will find her essence. Her essence is her qualities and character. It is her own unique set of gifts given to her by her Creator. Does she seem to attract the unlovely? Is she kind and thoughtful – putting others above herself? Is she extremely sensitive to the moods of others? Does she love others even though she gets hurt? Does her heart of compassion move her to take action? This is her essence.
Essence does not equate with problems. Husbands are fixers and too many times, a husband wants to fix these types of things in his wife. He might see her qualities as more of a curse. Men, please examine your motives. Why would you want to fix her? Do these qualities in your wife inconvenience you? Instead of trying to fix her, I would suggest that you embrace and cherish these qualities.
Try to look deep within her heart and mind to see and appreciate her essence. Praise her and brag on her for these qualities as well as her beauty and the tasks that she completes. As a woman ages, her physical beauty will change, the volume of tasks that she can complete will reduce but it is her essence that will remain and even become more beautiful in time. I know that you love this woman. Give her hope and look deep within her.