Who Left the Lights On?

In marriage, there can be wide disparities between what each spouse thinks and feels about many topics. One of the biggest areas where we differ in our point of view is a wife’s body image.

A woman looks in the mirror and sees stretch marks, rolls of flesh, cellulite, the effects of gravity and varicose veins. She sees her flaws. Her husband catches a glimpse of her nudity and he sees a beautiful creation. In a nutshell, he sees a body that is so different from his that it amazes him. He feels exhilarated by it. So what does your husband think when he sees you in your flesh and glory? He sees the lines of a graceful neck leading to feminine shoulders, fleshly curves, silky soft skin and the delicate curve of your back. He is in awe of the feminine specimen before his eyes. You are a feast for him. He is not blind – of course he notices your flaws but they are not what he focuses on.

Every man faces a bombardment of temptations every single day. There are female bodies wherever he looks including billboards and magazines. If he is a man that is committed to protecting his purity, he has probably learned how to look away. A wife would be wise to understand that for a man, looking away or bouncing their eyes, as some call it, is a great challenge and a wife can do a lot to make this easier for her husband. When a husband can enjoy his naked wife, he receives a booster shot to go back into the world and face the barrage again. She fills the gap for him. If a woman fears her husband seeing her nude, it is either because she has a poor body image or she assumes that her husband will want to pounce on her. This is not always the case. Many times, a husband just wants to enjoy the view or even just cuddle.

I think that I have adequately established that men are visually stimulated by the artful creation of the female form but let’s take this into the bedroom. When a wife requires that the room be darkened in order for sex to occur, she has cut off a major source of her husband’s pleasure – his sight. Yes, he can still feel the pleasure but essentially he is now working with much less stimuli. He wants to watch you move as you experience pleasure together. He wants to see the curves of your body. All of this adds to his experience and makes him a fulfilled man. If the thought of a fully lighted room or daylight is too much for you, try dimming the lights, candlelight or even a roaring fire.

Does a woman’s body change as she ages? Of course but so does his. Most of us could improve our appearance with proper nutrition and physical activity but learn to love your body as it is today and love that he loves your body. Your husband will be revved up by your confidence. A confident woman is a huge turn on. When you love the body that you have today, you can let go and enjoy intimacy with your husband.


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