Grief is like periods of manic emotion. Sometimes it feels like the most effective cleanse where you release poison and other times it feels like you are being crushed beneath an elephant. You might experience one day of numbness and the next day, you could be in a state of out of control sobbing. We all grieve for different reasons, different amounts of time and in different ways or levels of intensity. I encourage you to grieve without the limit of a time period for grief. Many people that experience grief often feel as though others are expecting them to “get over it” within a certain time frame. Sometimes a person may feel that others don’t understand or validate their grief. Each of us must be given the freedom to grieve at our own pace and our own reasons.
During grief, there must be periods of reprieve – a sort of break from the pain. Where and how do we find light and hope when we are going through the darkness of grief? You must choose your focus.
During the process of grieving, most people will need the help of a human or even a distracting activity to provide relief. These are good and very important in healing but they are temporal. Simply put, you must place your focus on something that is never changing and never ending. Your focal subject must be steady and dependable. This subject of your focus will be there during your grief and when you are healed. The only one that fits this description is Jesus Christ. He is love, comfort, truth, strength, power, grace, mercy and so much more. The Bible tells us that He is well acquainted with grief, sorrow and suffering. He understands and cares deeply about your pain. Maybe you can’t get out of bed or you find yourself staring at the wall unable to function. You must try to tell yourself truths because your heart and mind will lie to you. They will tell you things like “it is hopeless – you will never feel good again”. Dig into God’s Word and you will see a God of comfort, a God that loves you and provides hope and victory. He will see you through your heartache.
Grief is an important process and you must give yourself permission to go through it but don’t stay there forever. Grieve for as long as you need to but look forward to the day when you will no longer grieve. If you find that you or a loved one is still in a period of deep grief after six months or so, you may want to consider counseling. It is possible to grieve in an unhealthy and excessive way. Sometimes the person will get stuck and sort of locked up and a qualified counselor can help to get the process moving along in a healthy manner.
If you are blessed enough to be the person that assists someone through grief, please know that you don’t need to solve their problems. Usually, they simply need someone to listen and sit beside them or maybe even hold them or hold their hand. This will help them in a monumental way. You are essentially acting as God’s hands in this process.
Finally, I would be doing you a disservice if I didn’t say that simply relying on Jesus Christ as a source of strength and comfort is not enough. That in itself is temporal but you can have the eternal assurance of salvation. You must first place your trust in Him for the payment of your sins – we have all sinned and we need the savior. He died on the cross to pay the penalty of spiritual death (eternal separation from God) so that you don’t have to pay that penalty. His payment satisfied God’s wrath – the wrath that we actually deserve. He was resurrected from death to demonstrate that He is victorious – we can have victory through Him. Please place your trust in Christ alone and do it today.
Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.