We’re here – wedding season. Every time I watch newlyweds I think of that song by The Beach Boys “Wouldn’t It Be Nice”. You know the one – Wouldn’t it be nice if we could wake up, in the morning when the day is new, and after having spent the day together, hold each other close the whole night through. Is it stuck in your head? Good – me too.
There are a few things that newlyweds can learn so that they can ride that perfect wave together for many years to come.
>Learn to cook and find out which dishes he likes and dislikes. Don’t take it personally when he isn’t crazy about a certain dish. Keep challenging yourself to add new dishes to your repertoire.
>Find out what little act of service she likes and do it. Some ideas: bring her a cup of coffee in bed, a foot rub, have her go sit down while you clean up the kitchen after dinner.
>Learn how to keep your home reasonably orderly and decently clean.
>Realize that he married you thinking that he was going to have a lot of sex. He is not a sex crazed weirdo. He is a man and men need a lot of really good sex with their wife. Also, they are preoccupied with certain body parts. Don’t worry, it is normal.
>Listen – really listen to your wife. Just listen without attempting to solve her problems.
>Cuddle with your wife expecting nothing in return.
>Don’t treat her like your buddy. She needs to be treated like the delicate woman that she is.
>Take your time to make love to her entire body. Find out what gives her pleasure.
>Stop acting like a free agent dude. You are a partner now.
>Remember to communicate information to her and then keep talking to her about the deeper stuff.
>Last but probably most important, leave and cleave – leave mama and daddy behind and do not let them attempt to have input into your marriage. Your allegiance is now to your spouse. This is a common cause of marital discord and if you don’t set ground rules early on, I boldly tell you that it will cause bitterness and eventually split your marriage. Was that direct enough for you?
Build your life together. Nourish each other every day with respect, encouragement and love. Set boundaries with parents and other extended family – they are not part of your marriage. Akaw! (A surfer term for a huge perfect wave – I’m attempting to continue my Beach Boys theme). I wish you sweet newlywed bliss.