Sensual Heart or Heart of Gold?

There is a meme circulating on Facebook that declares flirting to be synonymous with cheating.  Is it?  Flirting is commonly confused with charming, but they are very different.  Are you leading with sex or are you communicating to another human being that you like, enjoy and value them?


Flirting with a member of the opposite sex, sends a very clear message that you are interested in them as a potential mate.   A charming person, has a knack for letting another human being know that they are important and valued, and it doesn’t matter whether they are male or female.  A charming person is a lovely human being, and they light up a room with their presence.  When you interact with a charming person, you usually feel encouraged and uplifted.


Now, in opposite sex relationships, this can be tricky.  Biologically, there is always a certain amount of chemistry between a man and a woman.  If you are a charming individual, you have probably already noticed that you are unable to control how the other person interprets your words and actions.  Have you ever been accused of flirting when you were really just being charming?  Further, be careful about assuming that the charming person is flirting.  This lovely blessing might become so self-conscience, that they will turn off the flow and stop pouring their special tonic into your life.


You might be wondering whether or not you are capable of being charming.  Not all of us are charismatic, but I believe that most of us can learn how to be charming.   Actually, the techniques are quite simple but they do require effort.  Listen with care – not the kind of listening where you hear with your ears, while your mind is occupied thinking and formulating your response.  Instead, completely focus on what the other person is saying, both through listening to their words and observing their actions.  Smile and look others in the eye.  Remember what they have told you, and ask them about it at a later time.  Notice what makes another person special and unique, and point it out to them and to others.  Treat others with the same respect that you believe that you deserve.  When you encounter a hurting person, don’t over simply their problems, or try to “fix” them or preach at them – show them that you care by listening, holding them or just sitting beside them.  If you aren’t full of charisma or wit, you can be charming just by being authentic, thoughtful, kind and empathetic.


So, ask yourself – are you flirtatious, charming or neither?  I think that we all know what flirting looks and feels like, and most of us have been guilty of flirting.  Charming can encompass many characteristics, but always leaves the other person feeling good.  A charming person is like a magnet – they attract.  A charming person is lovely – they make others feel important and valuable.  A charming person is inviting – they leave you wanting more interaction with them.  A charming person makes another human being feel visible.  In a world where many of us believe that we are invisible, a charming person helps us to see our value, and hopefully we then impact other lives positively.  A charming person has opinions but they express them in a way that leaves the other person feeling respected and understood.  A charming person is predominantly focused on the needs and well-being of others and will often put their own wants aside.  In short, a charming person has a heart of gold.


We should save our flirting for our significant other.  Charm on the other hand, is a character trait that everyone can be developing and practicing.   Charm can be your gift to others.  It is a gift that never runs out and can never be stolen away from the recipient.


If you have enjoyed this post, please follow Madeline on WordPress or Facebook and she loves to read your comments too.


Image courtesy of chrisroll at


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