Women can easily view sexual intimacy with their husband, as another task to be completed on a very long to-do list. Too many men believe that women rarely enjoy sex and therefore the act of sex becomes a means to completing a biological need. Unfortunately, many believe that incredible sex only happens outside of marriage? God created sex as a blessing to be enjoyed within the commitment of marriage, so why did sex within marriage get such a bad rap?
Sometime after Adam & Eve, a mother of the bride told her daughter that she must be prepared do her wifely duty. Women began to believe that sexual pleasure was only for men, and that a lady always behaves ladylike in the bedroom. Look, if a wife’s participation consists of just lying there until it’s over, a husband is going to view the act of marital sex as nothing more than a physical release, which exists solely for his benefit. He needs the physical release but technically, he can take care of that himself. What he really wants, is a wife that is fully engaged in sex, confident and enjoying the process. That is sexy and beautiful to him. Simply put, he wants a lover. This is why some men stray – frigid wife at home and lover elsewhere. There is never justification for a husband to cheat, but a wife needs to understand that she is putting her marriage at risk by refusing to be her husband’s lover. He needs and craves the experience of being skin to skin with his wife while knowing that he is pleasing her. He is a man and he wants to be good at stuff and hearing and viewing “positive feedback” thrills him.
If you are a woman who isn’t enjoying sex, find out why. Do you view sex as being dirty? Do you experience pain during sex? Have you never or rarely felt pleasure during sex with your husband? Were you sexually abused sometime in your life? Let’s take a look at each of these. If you were raised in a home where sex was viewed as shameful, you may be carrying these attitudes into your marriage. I would encourage you to read what God says about sex between a husband and wife. He created this to be a beautiful and pleasurable expression of love for both man and woman. If you experience pain during intercourse, share this information with your husband, and together find ways to slow down and enjoy each other. Commonly referred to as foreplay, slowing down will help your body get ready for the main event. If you still have pain, there are many products available and if necessary discuss this with your gynecologist. If you have difficulty experiencing pleasure, realize that only 25% of women can reach climax during intercourse alone. Ask your husband to help you with exploring your body – every woman is unique – find out what feels good to you. Once you have begun to experience regular pleasure, you will actually crave more sex. A win-win, don’t you think? Finally, if you were sexually abused, remember that this is not your husband’s fault, and you may need to seek professional help to work through this and heal. There is no shame. Plenty of woman struggle with these issues and the professionals are trained to help.
Sex with your husband, doesn’t have to be just one more task to check off on your to-do list. Although, I will share a little secret – my husband has been known to write it on mine. It’s just a little fun between the two of us. With a shift in her mindset, every wife can make sex a very special sport that the two of you enjoy playing together.
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