Her personality tends to be a bit bubbly and she smiles a lot too. When she was a little girl, her Dad nicknamed her “Smiley”. Her life is not perfect and she doesn’t always feel joyful. She has just as many heartaches, struggles and challenges as the next woman, but she was created with a perky personality. She can usually find the humor in most situations and sometimes laugh through her tears. She has spent years feeling self-conscience about this trait but is finally arriving at a place where she accepts this – it is who she is. Finally, she can even see some positive aspects to her personality. Who is this woman? She is Bubbly.
It’s embarrassing to admit but the woman that I describe is me and over the years, I have annoyed too many women with my bubble, perk and joy. These other women were created with a personality that is more subdued. I’ll call them my somber sisters and I love them dearly. Since you may be wondering, I will explain what I view as a bubbly sister and a somber sister. Picture this – a bouncy, energetic, friendly puppy that just wants to play – she could be friends with anyone – this is Bubbly. Now picture the feline perched high – her demeanor is reserved, she apprehensively studies the puppy, she could take the puppy or leave the puppy – this is Somber. Over the years, many women have come in and out of my life and some of them have left me with the burning question, “why doesn’t she like me?” During my life, I have experienced somber sisters communicating a look that clearly said “get away gnat … you bother me!” or how about three women standing in a circle – one somber, one neutral and one bubbly. Bubbly starts to speak and Somber turns her body away as if she is communicating “Bubbly, you don’t exist”. For the men that are reading this post – I am not kidding you – this stuff really happens between women. As my husband says “I am so glad that I’m not a woman”.
Somber and Bubbly, I want to emphasize that we are sisters. Let’s not forget Neutral – I bet that Somber and Bubbly can cause Neutral some stress. Women of all personalities, shapes and sizes are sisters. As sisters, we understand each other and relate in ways that only sisters can. Somber sister, do you despise your bubbly sister simply because of her perky personality? When you look at her like “that”, exclude her, ignore her – she notices and it hurts her deeply. Just like I did, she may begin to believe that her personality is the problem. She may begin to despise her own personality and retreat to safety, no longer sharing her joy with others.
Fellow bubbly sister, you and I must learn to temper our sparkle and perk just a little, at least until you know that it is safe to come out and play. Most importantly, remember that when a Somber doesn’t seem to like you, it is not about you. She is probably unable to understand you or relate to you. Do your best to not take it personally. You will learn to recognize the men and women that will appreciate you for who you are – that Bubbly that naturally exudes a little sparkle and joy.