Rare and generous, they are created with a unique capacity to love. They give of themselves liberally and expect very little in return. This is the bright side, but what about the dark side? Too often, these large-hearted souls attract a person that is unable to return love due to their own circumstances, personality, emotional problems, mental illness or addictions. Worse yet, sometimes their love is met with critical, rude or malicious behavior.
It would feel better to be like most others – able to let it roll off and move on but usually the person who loves deeply does not do this with ease. They put great effort into relationships and when there is failure, their emotional wound can be deep. If they are the type that is willing to examine themselves, they will probably blame themselves for the failure. If this is you, you may long to be like others but God created you with this capacity to love and yes, there will be times that you will get hurt. The question isn’t “how can I avoid getting hurt” or “how do I make the hurt go away quickly?”. The real question is “what will I learn from the experience?”. The greater the investment, the greater the gain and in every failure, there is always a gain. Learn to look for this and be thankful for it. What you gain isn’t always from good. Sometimes, it is a lesson learned from a negative experience.
If you are that person who is putting all of your cards on the table, and they are all hearts, it is crucial that you are learning from the good and bad that comes out of your relationships. People with a great capacity to love, will often take two or three steps forward, while the other person involved takes fewer steps, or even none at all. Every healthy relationship is like a waltz. Even though the gait and physicality of each person is different, there is a rhythm and mutual movement to make the dance beautiful and mutually satisfying. A waltz wouldn’t work if only one person wants to dance or performs all of the movements? What should we learn from this?
First, remember that trust in a relationship must be earned and trusting too soon, will eventually lead to difficulties. Second, in order for a relationship to withstand the test of time, each person should, in their own way, be giving to it. Reciprocation doesn’t have to be exactly in the same fashion or equal amounts but there should be energy poured into the relationship from each side. Third, invest appropriately – don’t take three steps forward when the other person isn’t also taking steps forward. Finally, in a situation where only one person gives, you have a ministry – consider whether or not this is acceptable to you.
Whatever the reasons, when a relationship is unfulfilling, it can cause heartbreak to the person who has loved and poured into it. Your investment isn’t wasted. Even if the other person didn’t appreciate you, they probably benefited from knowing you and with the insight that you have gained, go out and love again but this time, know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em.