This post is dedicated to those that grieve on Father’s Day. Your Dad is no longer here to celebrate this day with you. You would love to pick up the telephone and catch up with him, or sit beside him as he relaxes in his favorite chair, but you can’t. He is gone, and it is not by your choice, that you can no longer spend Father’s Day with your earthly father.
I understand the void that you feel. 36 years ago, my father took his own life. It was just 3 months to the day before my 18th birthday. He was only 42 years old and there was so much life to be lived. There was so much good to come, but he couldn’t see that – his pain overwhelmed him. I miss him but there is something else that I miss too.
Since his death, I miss what he has missed out on. He never met his son-in-law. He has missed watching his grandchildren grow up – every milestone and accomplishment, and he never got to see the woman that I’ve become. I could be sad, and sometimes I still grieve, but mostly I now choose to remember that he loved me and that he called me endearing names like “smiley”. He looked at me as though I was the best thing that he had ever done with his life. Now, I realize that even though my Dad was with me for only a short time, he gave me so much. He taught me to feel deeply when I love and to think thoughtfully and God has not wasted any of my grief. The pain that so easily could have become bitterness has become compassion, which has evolved into a deep longing to have others see the light of Christ in me – in order to glorify Him.
If you are missing your father today, and wishing that he was here with you, try to remember that there is an abundance of the fatherless. If you have been blessed to have a father invest into your life, even if it was for a shorter time than you would have chosen, take that and use it to bless another life. You can continue your Dad’s legacy by pouring into someone else. Giving of ourselves takes our focus off of our own pain and is deeply therapeutic.
You can probably imagine that this was an extremely difficult post to write and share. I have bared my heart to you and my deepest hope is that someone will be helped. I want this to be a Happy Father’s Day for you. May you have many pleasant memories of your Dad this weekend, and every single day, and may your joy spill out onto others!